The Very Last Laugh
by The Jonny T Factor
Summary: A battle to prove who is the true Clown Prince of Crime. Heath Ledger, Jack Nicholson, Mark Hamill, & Cesar Romero. Vote for you want to win at my poll. R&R.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey, The Jonny T Factor here, and you know what, my favorite villain of all time is the Joker. But one of the biggest problems I've come upon is who was the better Joker? Well, my favorite has always been the Heath Ledger Joker. But clearly, some people may feel different about that. So, I'm letting the fans decide. Go to my profile page and vote for your favorite. One Joker will be standing at the end of the story. And that one will be named number one. Hope you enjoy the story.**

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A woman in hooded black cloak wonders through the dark city of Gotham. Rain pours down hard on her as she makes her why down an alley way. She soon comes to a door in the alley, connecting to a small ran down apartment building. She looks around to see if any one is looking, then knocks on the door. A few second pass, then a man in a suit and a clown mask answers the door.

"Right this way, Miss." the man says. The woman enters the building, and the man shuts the down behind them. She follow the man down the hallway of open doors. As they passed by, she looks into each room. A group of masked men were playing a game of cards in the first room. Then a room with two men torturing another.

"PLEASE, tell him I'll get him his money back!" the man begs.

"Boss says no more chances, Vic." one of the masked men informs, pulling out a gun. As they pass by, the sound of gunshots fill the air. They then pass by a room full of caged dogs. They bark loudly as they saw the cloaked woman.

"SHUT UP!" the man orders. The dogs continue to bark as the two reach a room at the end of the hall. The man opens the door and goes in. "Boss, you have a visitor." the man informs. The woman enters the room. It was a dark room, with the only source of light coming from a desk lamp on a cluttered desk. She could make out the shape of a figure in the darkness, sitting behind the desk. She takes a seat in front of the desk as the man leaves the room. The woman removes her hood, revealing herself to be Poison Ivy.

"I'm glad you could take time out of your busy schedule to have a meeting with me." Ivy says, "Though, I don't always conduct business with anyone, unless I'm in dire need." The figure remains silent in the darkness. "I've seen some of your work." Ivy continues, "There's something special about it. Many people call you a copycat criminal." The figure places his feet on the desk, leaning back in the chair. "But I don't think you're a copycat." Ivy informs, "I think your work is very original. And that's why I like it. Now, that being said, I have a job I'd like you to take care of for me." She pulls a folder from her cloak and lays it on the cluttered desk. "My friend is in a terrible place." Ivy explains, "I want you to bring her out of it. And I want you to take the man out in the picture." A hand with a purple glove over it reaches out and picks up the folder. He brings it into the darkness and opens it. All of a sudden, he drops the folder, and slams the picture down on the desk. He grabs the lap, and holds it closer to the picture. "No, your eyes are not playing tricks on you." Ivy informs, "This man is claiming to be you. And I'm sure you would have no problem taking care of him for me. But just encase." She stands up and pulls a large purse out from under her cloak. She unzips it and dumps bundles of money all over the desk. The figure picks up a bundle and studies it, then drops it back on the desk. "So, do we have a deal?" Ivy questions.

"Do you really think that I can be bought out?" the figure replies. Ivy pulls out some lipstick from her purse and starts to apply it.

"No." Ivy answers, "I just thought you'd want something for your troubles. Even if you said no, I have another way to change you mind." Out of nowhere, Ivy reaches down and pulls the figure in for a deep kiss. She then slams the figure back down in his seat.

"HA, HA, HEEE, HA, oh, you are a wild woman!" the figure laughs, "But I know all about your little trick! The little mind control kiss, that's not gonna work!" Ivy is a little shocked to see that the figure is not under her control. "You see, there is no love deep down in the most blackest heart." the figure explains, "Now, if you want your friend back, we're gonna play by my rules." The figure leans into the light, revealing greasy blond hair, with a bit of green dye. His face was painted white, with black liner around his eyes. And a big, red, smeared smile painted over his mouth and the scars of his cheeks. "Because there can only be one Clown Prince of Crime." the figure states, "So, tell me, Miss Ivy, how would you like the job done. Let me guess! Hmm... fire, maybe? Slit throat? Castration?"

"I want you to make him suffer for all the abuse he's put Harley through!" Ivy states.

"Hmm, you're an easy gal to please, hee, hee, heh!" the figure says, walking over to a table with tools on it, "Now, I believe in a world without Order. Another me in this world is chaotic. And I like that. But if we're going to have that world, there can only be one of me." He picks something up and walks towards Ivy. "Let's say this... faker represents Order." the figure says, "Now let's introduce a litte Anarchy." He holds up a crowbar. "And we get... Chaos." He licks his scarred lips. "I'm an agent of Chaos." he says. Ivy smiles with the evil thoughts of what's to come.

"I believe we're going to be good friends..." Ivy informs.

"Call me Joker." the figure replies, "And I don't make friends. I hire help." The two share a wicked smile together. "Now, where can we find this... Mister J?" Joker questions.

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**Pretty good start so far. The next chapter will come when the poll on my profile page has ended. To choose who you want to see win, go and vote. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please Review. Thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2

**The next chapter of The Very Last Laugh.**

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"HAAARRRLEEEEEEYY!" a threatening voice rings out through the abandoned amusement park. Harley Quinn freezes in fear at the angry sound of the one she loves. She was in her room, which was full of stolen clothes and jewels. Picture of her and her beloved Mister J hang all over the walls. She was laying in her bed, reading a story she had gotten from Poison Ivy months back. "HARLEY!" the voice yells again.

"I-in here, Puddin!" Harley yells back, now shaking. The door of her room is kicked open, revealing a clown with nothing but fury in his eyes. This of course was the Joker **(Mark Hamill)**. His entire suit had rips and tears all over, along with dirt. He stared at Harley, enraged. "S-so, how was your night out?" Harley questions, trying not to seem afraid. The Joker signals her to come over to him. Quickly, Harley does as he commands, hoping not to make him angier. Joker wraps his right arm around Harley's waist. He clears his throat, seeming a little claimer.

"Let's take a walk, Harley." Joker says. Harley didn't speak as she was lead by the Joker out of her room, and down the hall. "Tell me, Harls, how long have we know each other?" Joker questions. Harley knew the correct answer before that question was even asked. But as she tries to open her mouth to speak, Joker silences her. "Don't answer that." Joker says, "It's been a long time." They soon enter Joker's main office, where he creates his own weapons, plans, and organizes his money. "Now, Harley, let's run through your day today." Joker says, "Tell me everything you did up until this point." Harley gulps, still a little afraid.

"Well, this morning I woke up and took a bath." Harley explains.

"Go on." Joker says.

"Then, I made you a wonderful breakfast, made with love." Harley says.

"Almost puked up my stomach." Joker informs, "Continue."

"Then, I fed the hyenas." Harley continues, "And then I blew you a kiss goodbye, and you left to chase Batman." The Joker holds up his right hand to stop Harley.

"Now, Harley, are you sure there wasn't anything important that happened before I left?" Joker questions, "Maybe something I asked you to do?" Harley thinks hard for a moment.

"Oh yeah!" Harley says, "You asked me to get your gun!" Joker smiles and rubs Harley on her hooded head.

"That's right!" Joker replies, "And which gun did I tell you to get?"

"You said get one from off the desk." Harley replies, smiling. Joker giggles to himself a little. "I guess he's not in a bad mood after all." Harley thinks to herself.

"No, no, Harley." Joker says, in a gentle tone, "I said get one from inside my desk."

"Well, what's the difference?" Harley questions, a little confused.

"Oh, sweet, foolish, little Harley." Joker chuckles, then grabs Harley by the neck, "THE DIFFERENCE IS THAT THE ONES ON MY DESK ARE MY GAG GUNS!"

"I'm sorry... I didn't know!" Harley tries to explain, as Joker's hands become tighter around her neck.

"I almost got killed because of you!" Joker yells in pure rage, "And when I finally had chance to kill Batman, YOU GIVE ME THE WRONG GUN!" The Joker was know shaking her.

"M-mistah... J!" Harley tries to beg. Joker removes his right hand from her neck and back hands her. He then throws her on the floor. Harley coughs hard, trying to catch her breathe.

"I gave you a simple job!" the Joker yells, "One that even one of those stupid hyenas could do right! But when I give the job to you, you always screw up!"

"Please... Mistah J!" Harley sobs. The Joker kicks her hard in the stomach.

"SHUT UP!" Joker orders, "You're the reason why I can't kill Batsy! You're the reason why nobody respects my cunning plans! You're the reason why nobody gets the punch-line!" Harley tries to get back to her feet, but her stomach still hurts too much. "I'm a genius at my art." Joker states, "And you are nothing but a second rate bimbo I took in." Harley looks up at Joker, with tear streaming down her face.

"I gave up everything to be with you!" Harley screams, "I had a good job! Friends, family! But I chose you!"

"HAAAAA, HA, HA, HA, HA, well that's where you made your first mistake!" Joker laughes. He grabs Harley by her hood and pulls her up off the ground. He twists her right arm behind her back.

"AAHH!" Harley screams in pain. Joker then slams her upper body down on his desk. He leans in close to her ear.

"You shouldn't have trusted me." Joker whispers in her ear. Harley starts to sob.

"I'm sorry, Puddin!" Harley cries, "I'm worthless, I know! Just please give me another chance! Please, don't hate me anymore!" The Joker grinns evily behind her back.

"You... are... pathetic." says a voice from a corner of the room. Surprised, the Joker turns to search the room. He sees that someone was sitting in one of his chairs, with the back of the chair facing them.

"Rocky?" Joker questions, "I thought I told you to stay out of my office!"

"No, Rocky's is the one that I left downstairs with a fork in his neck." the person in the chair informs. The Joker looks at the figure in the chair with rage, and a bit of curiosity. He releases his hold on Harley. "Now, you... Miss Quinzel, are pathetic." the person repeats. Harley lifts herself off the desk and turns around.

"What?" Harley questions, confused. She wipes the tears from her eyes as she waits for a response. The man stands up from the chair, givinng them a better view of his back.

"You give up everything for a man who doesn't love you." the person informs. Joker tries to stay focused, but was thrown off by the outfit the person was wearing. A nice dark purple coat and purple pants. "Is it truly love?" the person questions, "Or just obsession?" The Joker moves behind his desk and reaches into one of the drawers. He pulls out a gun and points it at the person.

"Look, I don't know who you are and why you're here." Joker informs, "But you have less than a minute to write down the information on where you got that snazzy suit, and leave."

"Or else?" the person replies. He pulls a walkie talkie from his coat. "Boys." the person says into it. All of a sudden, six men dressed in clown masks burst into the room, carrying AK-47s. The Joker looks around at the men, both shocked and confused.

"Aaww, was the clown masks a special touch for me?" Joker giggles a little.

"Puddin, I'm scared!" Harley informs.

"No, no, no, the masks are mine." the person replies. The Joker looks puzzled by this.

"What the hell are you all here for anyway?" Joker demands to know.

"The Dame." the person informs.

"Harley?" Joker questions, even more confused, "What do you want with her? Is this some kind of white slavery thing?"

"No." the person replies, "A friend who cares sent me."

"Red?" Harley questions, a little surprised.

"You see, I wouldn't have done this if it was just for a random girl." the person informs, "My number one rule is never do favors for other, only for yourself. And that's how I've survived. But when I heard it was my copy-cat's lady, I jumped at the chance."

"Copy-cat?" Joker yells, enraged, "Who the hell do you think you are?" The person turns around so everyone could see he was the Joker** (Heath Ledger)**.

"The real deal." Joker informs.

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**Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Remember to keep voting on my profile to see who will win. Please Review. Thanks.**


	3. Chapter 3

**The poll has been ended and here is the next chapter of The Very Last Laugh. In order to lower some of the confuse, Mark Hamill Joker will be written as Joker(MH) and Heath Ledger Joker will be written as Joker(HL).**

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The Joker stood silent, looking face to face with his counterpart.

"Ha... ha... ha, ha... HAAAAA, HA, HA, HA, HAAAAAA!" the Joker(MH) bursts into laughter. The Joker(HL) gives him a questionable look.

"What's so funny?" Joker(HL) questions.

"HA, HA, you must be joking!" Joker(MH) states, "There's no way you could ever be me! I mean look at you! The Joker doesn't wear makeup! He doesn't have messy hair that's pourly dyed green! Oh, and that smile! What happened? Did you run with scissors?"

"Last I check, the Joker doesn't bleach his skin." Joker(HL) responds, "Who are you supposed to be? The Joker, or Michael Jackson? Hee, hee, hee, heh!" Joker's(MH) eyes light up with fury.

"Watch it, pal!" Joker(MH) growls. Joker(HL) looks around.

"You know, you make a lot of threats for someone who's surrounded by armed men." Joker(HL) informs, "I mean, whose gonna help you? Oh, and don't call it makeup. I prefer the term 'War paint"." Harley Quinn was still shaking in fear.

"Mistah J... what are we gonna do?" Harley questions.

"Shut up, Harley!" Joker(MH) orders. Joker(HL) cocks his head to the side.

"No, no, Harley has a good point." Joker(HL) informs, "What are you gonna do?" Joker(MH) thinks for a moment. Joker(HL) strolls towards the two.

"How about we see whose the better Joker?" Joker(MH) questions.

"Okay, you go first." Joker(HL) says. Joker(MH) pulls a gun from his coat and points it at the other.

"Drop the guns!" Joker(MH) orders. The masked men all look at each other, then lowers their AK-47s. Joker(HL) didn't show any sign of fear, he only smiled. "I want you to admit to me that you're not the true Joker." Joker(MH) says. Joker(HL) didn't respond. "No?" Joker(MH) replies, "Alright then, have it your way." He pulls the trigger, a loud bang, then a banner that reads "BANG" plops out of the gun. "HAAAAAA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HAAAAAAA!" he laughs.

"HEE, HEEEEE, HEE, HA, HA!" Joker(HL) laughs, "My turn!" He pulls out a gun of his own and points it at Joker's(MH) head.

"Really?" Joker(MH) replies, "The same joke. You must have more class than that." Joker(HL) points the gun at Joker's leg and fire, sending a bullet into his thigh.

"AAAAAAHHH!" Joker(MH) cries out in pain, falling to one knee.

"AAAAAHHH!" Harley screams at the top of her lungs. Joker clutches his bloody wound.

"Okay... didn't... see that... coming!" Joker states, still in horrific pain. Joker(HL) pulls a crowbar out from his coat.

"I bet you didn't see this either!" Joker(HL) says, swinging the crowbar, hitting Joker(MH) in the side of the face. He hits the ground from the impact.

"STOP IT!" Harley screams, trying to pull the crowbar from Joker's(HL) hand. He pushes her away, sending her into one of Joker's men, who then holds her back. He rears the crowbar back, then slams it down on Joker's(MH) side.

"AAHH!" Joker(MH) cries out in pain.

"You know, this would be a good time to mention that one of us won't be walking out of here alive." Joker(HL) informs, then swings the crowbar again, hit Joker(MH) in the side of the head. He kicks Joker(MH) in the side, forcing him to flip onto his stomach. He grabs his hands and handcuffs them behind his back.

"Oh, never knew you were into S&M, HA, HA, HA!" Joker(MH) laughs. Joker(HL) pulls him up onto his knees, then hit him with the crowbar again in the face. Joker(MH) spits out some blood and a few teeth. "I needed to go... to the dentist anyway." he chuckles. Joker(HL) hits him again. "Oh, come on!" Joker(MH) yells, "You're not cracking a joke! There's no gag! No punch-line! Nothing! There's no comedic plan! You just keep hitting me with the crowbar!"

"That's my kind of comedy." Joker(HL) informs, "And do I look like a man with a plan?"

"PLEASE, STOP HURTING MISTAH J!" Harley begs.

"You're no Joker!" Joker(MH) states, "You're just a nut wearing face paint! What makes us at all alike! I mean, why do you dress up like that? What are you fighting for?" Joker(HL) smiles.

"I'll tell what I'm fighting for." Joker(HL) informs. He drags the Joker(MH) by his coat collar towards the wall. He leans him against it, then sits down with him. "I want chaos restored to Gotham." Joker(HL) explains, "Order is what's sending criminals into hiding. And who brought order back into Gotham? The Batman." Joker(MH) focuses on everything he was saying. "Batman's shifted the natural balance of Gotham." he continues, "He thinks that he can save Gotham, but he can't. But for some unknown reason, he continues to try. Maybe his brother got butchered by the Mob. Maybe beaten to near death and seeked veangence. Who knows? But the only thing I know is that the only way you can live in this world is without order. I let chaos choose what I do next. I robbed a Mob bank. I got them working for me. Then I set the money on fire." Joker(MH) gives him a crazy look. "The thing is, I was only burning my haft." he continues, "But the problem was... my haft was on the bottom. I didn't think that one out enough."

"HAAA, HA, HA, HAAA, AAHHH" Joker(MH) tries to laugh, but the pain forces him to stop.

"Anyway, I didn't want the money." Joker(HL) continues, "I mean, I used a little on the suit, but I didn't want it. People are too greedy. If I was a big powerful mob boss and someone broke into my bank and stole from me, I'd find that person and shake their hand for having the balls to do it."

"I like the way you think." Joker(MH) replies, "Maybe we do share a lot more in common than I thought. But we shouldn't be fighting each other." Joker(HL) gives him a confused look. "We should join together and take down our common enemy." he explains, "Batman. With our combined powers, he'll never be able to stop us." Joker(HL) thinks about it for a moment.

"No." Joker(HL) replies. Joker(MH) give him a shocked look.

"WHAT?" Joker(MH) yells, "What do you mean, no?"

"I mean, I'm not taking you up on that offer." Joker(HL) explains.

"Well, why not?" Joker(MH) questions.

"Let's just say I'm... a complicated person." Joker(HL) answers, licking his scarred lips. He turns his attentions towards Harley. He stands and walks over to her and the man that was holding her. He pulls revolver from his coat and points it at her. Harley starts to squirm at the sight of the gun. "Calm down, Harley." Joker(HL) says, "We're just gonna play a little game." He takes her by the arm. "Just think of it as being a game show." he says, "And all these men are our audience. Oh, and we brought a special friend to be in that audience too." Just then, two large men drag a struggling Poison Ivy into the room.

"Let go of me!" Ivy orders, trying to get free.

"Ivy?" Harley questions in shock.

"She's gonna watch as we play a nice game of chance." Joker(HL) explains, dragging her over to the still handcuffed Joker(MH).

"This wasn't a part of the god damn deal, you fucking pyscho!" Ivy yells.

"A nickle for everytime I've heard that." Joker(HL) mumbles. He sits Harley down in front of the two clowns. He pulls a single bullet out from his coat. He opens the chamber of the revolver and places the bullet in it. "One bullet, six chambers, spin!" he says, spinning the chamber. He whips his hand foward and the chamber snaps back into place. "And you leave the rest to chaos." He cocks it. then tilts his head back and places the barrel of the gun to under his chin. He seemed like he didn't even care if he had the bullet or not. He pulls the trigger.

***Click***

Empty.

"That's a good signs." Joker(HL) comments, then looks at the other Joker, "Your turn." He holds the gun out towards him. "Oh, right." he says, remembering that his hands were cuffed, "Allow me." He points the gun at Joker's(MH) head. "You don't look that nervous." he informs.

"A one out of five chance doesn't worry me." Joker(MH) chuckles. Joker(HL) smiles, then cocks the gun and places the barrel of it to his forehead.

"Hope you're right." Joker(HL) says.. He pulls the trigger.

***Click***

Empty.

"AAAAAHHH, HA, HA, HA, HAAAA!" Joker(MH) laughs, "I guess I'm just that lucky!" Joker(HL)turns to Harley.

"Your turn." Joker(HL) informs, extending the gun. Harley was a little nervous, but she reached out and took the gun from his hands. She cocks it and places it to her right temple. A few tears run down her face.

"Please, God, let nothing happen!" IVy begs. Harley starts to pull back on the trigger.

"Wait, Harley!" Joker(HL) orders. Harley releases her hold on the trigger. "Before you do that, I want you to think of a few things." Joker(HL) informs, "I want you to think about that cold metal pressed against your head. h+How for a split second you might feel horrific pain, then you're dead. All your brain matter and blood splatted all over the floor." Harley starts to shake in utter fear. "Oh, and don't just pull the trigger." he continues, "SQUEEZE it! Act like you just got a new kitten from your daddy. And you just wanna squeeze it, until it's little head just pops off. And in this case, the bullet is that head." More tears flow from Harley's eyes as she closes them. She starts to slowly squeeze the trigger back.

***Click***

Empty.

Harley's eyes open. Her face fills with joy.

"Thank you, God!" Ivy sighs in relief. Joker(HL) snatches the gun from her hands.

"This is getting interesting!" Joker(HL) informs, "One out of three chance isn't so bad!" He places the gun to his temple, then licks his scarred lips. "Bye, bye." he giggles, waving at the other two. He pulls the trigger.

***Click***

Empty.

"Maybe not, HA, HEE, HA, HA, HA, HAAAA!" Joker(HL) laughs. Joker(MH) now had a look of fear on his face. Joker(HL) places the gun under his chin. "One out of two." he states, "Any last words?"

"Yeah, I'll see you in Hell!" Joker replies. More tears run down Harley face. She closes her eyes and covers her ears. Joker(HL) cocks the revolver and pulls the trigger.

***Click***

Empty.

The Joker's(MH) eyes open.

"AAAAAAAHHH, HA, HA, HA, HA, HAAAAA!" Joker(MH) laughs like a mad man, "I guess I'm luckier than I thought!"

"NO!" Ivy yells, with tears streaming down her face. Joker(HL) slowly turns his head towards Harley, who was now aware of the fact that she was next. There's was only one chamber left, which was holding the bullet. Joker(HL) takes Harley's right hand and places the gun in it.

"Your turn." Joker(HL) informs. Harley slowly lifts the gun to her head and cocks it.

"Why me?" Harley whispers. She starts to slowly pull the trigger.

"Wait!" Joker(HL) orders. Harley stops in her tracks. "Is this really what you want?" Joker(HL) questions. Harley shakes her head.

"No!" Harley cries, "Who would want this?"

"Well, do you know how order works?" Joker(HL) questions.

"Yeah." Harley answers, "It's when things follow a rule or a pattern."

"Good for you." Joker(HL) says, "You're smarter than you look. Now, do you know how chaos works?"

"It's when something can't be controlled or doesn't follow rules." Harley replies.

"Good." Joker(HL) says, "Now, how about we put that to the test. We've played this game in order from me, him, and you. I've went twice, he's went twice, you've went once. But let's just say he's went once, and you've went twice."

"Hey, that's not fair!" Joker(MH) yells, "I've play the damn game, I don't deserve this!"

"Now, let's let chaos deside who should be next." Joker(HL) says, taking Harley's right hand and pointing it at the Joker(MH), "Pull the trigger and earn your life, or take you own away."

"Think of all the abuse he's put you through, Harley!" Ivy says, "You deserve this!" Harley was having trouble thinking straight.

"Come on, Harls." Joker(MH) says in his smooth voice, "You don't want to do this. Would you really kill the man who loves you?" Harleys eyes widen.

"Y-you love me?" Harley questions.

"Of course I do, silly." Joker(MH) replies.

"Don't listen to him, Harley!" Ivy yells, "He's lying!"

"Come on, Harley." Joker(HL) says, "Squeeze the trigger." Harley had so many thoughts rushing through her head. "Squeeze it." Joker(HL) continues, "Sqeeeeeze it!" He starts to become a little angry. "SQUEEZE THE FUCKING TRIGGER!" he snaps. Harley snaps out her train of thought. She grinns then point the gun at Joker(HL).

"Squeeze." Harley says, squeezing the trigger.

"NO!" Ivy screams.

***Clank***

Nothing happened. Harley's eye widen in shock. A huge smile spreads on Joker's(MH) face.

"A DUD, HA, HA, HA, HAAAAA!" Joker(MH) laughs, "A DUD! Oh, that's the greatest joke I've heard in a long time!" Joker(HL) stares at Harley, with a crazy look in his eyes. Harley drops the revolver and stands to her feet. Joker(HL) stands up as well.

"I-I-I'm sorry." Harley says, backing away slowly. Joker(HL) slaps her hard, then grabs her by the neck.

"Is that how you repay someone who was going to let you live?" Joker(HL) growls into her ear, "You either have huge balls of steel, or you're just retarded! And from the way that suit hugs your body, I'm going with the second one!" He flings her to the wall. He then pulls a knife from his pocket. He brings the knife near her mouth. Harley tries not to move or make any sound. Joker cocks his head to the side. "You look nervous." he informs, "Is it the scars? Wanna know how I got them?" Harley slightly nodded, unknowing what might happen. "My mother was... a whore." Joker explains, "And every night, she would bring two or three clients. It was the only way she knew how to make money. But then one day, her pimp barges into our apartment, demanding for money. He was hopped up on drugs. My mother hid me in her closet. She tells him that she didn't have any money. So, the pimp decided that he'd take something else instead." He brings the knife even closer to her face. "So, he knocks her on the bed." Joker continues, "And he ties up her hands up. He rips off her clothes, and starts to violate her. I saw everything from the closet. And when he was done... he CHOKES her to death!" He wraps his left hand around Harley's throat. "And somehow, he heard me sobbing in the closet." he continues, "He opens the door and pulls me out. He pulls a knife from his pants pocket. Kind of like this one." he waves the knife in his hand around, "And he asked "Why so serious"? He put the blade in my mouth." he places the blade of his knife between Harley's lips, "Let's put a smile on that face!"

"Please, Joker, don't!" Ivy begs. Tears pour down Harley's face.

"And... why so serious?" Joker(HL) questions. Joker slices Harley's left side of her lips then curves upward across her cheek really fast. Blood splatters on the wall.

"AAAAAAHHHH!" Harley screams blood murder.

"NOOOOOOO!" Ivy cries. Joker(MH) looks on in disbelief.

"Now for the other." Joker(HL) informs. He then slice the right side the same way.

"AAAAHHH!" Harley screams some more, "AAAAH! AAAHH!"

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" Ivy yells.

"You really are crazy." Joker(MH) states, still in disbelief. Joker(HL) pulls a rag from his coat and wipes off his blade. Harley drops to the floor, with her hands over her wounds.

"Sorry I had to ruin such a pretty face." Joker(HL) informs, "But there are some things that can not go without punishment."

"WE HAD A DEAL!" Ivy screams.

"The deal was that I'd help you get Harley back." Joker(HL) replies, "I never promised that nothing would happen to her." He looks over at Joker(MH). "Well, it's been fun." he informs, "But we have some more business to take care of. But don't worry! We're leaving you a gift." Just then, another masked man enters the room, pushing a cart with a sheet over it. He stops in front of the two clowns. Joker(HL) pulls the sheet off, revealing a large amount of explosives. Joker(MH) eyes widen in fear. "My gift, to you." Joker(HL) informs, picking up a remote from the cart, "Boys, let's go." Two men pick Harley up, who was still sobbing. "I think I sent her into shock." Joker(HL) comments, smiling, then turns his head back to the Joker(MH), "Oh, and to truly answer your questions earlier, the one about me not working with you. I won't because... there can be only one." With that, he leaves the office, with the men following him. Joker(MH) starts to stuggle against his cuffs.

"This can't be the end." Joker says, "I won't let it." He continues to struggle for freedom, but there was no use. "FUCK!" he yells, "This can't happen to me! Beaten and broken on the floor, waiting for my own demise."

Soon, the group of men near the exit of the amusement park.

"Is this a dream?" Joker questions.

Joker(HL) turns around looking back at the builing her left the his counterpart.

"My god!" Joker(MH) says, "He's actually got me questioning reality. That... that's... that's the biggest joke of all!" A large smile starts to appear on his face. "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!" Joker starts to laugh, "HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA! AAAAAAAAHHHHH, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HAAAAAAAA!"

Joker(HL) pushes a button on the remote. The building explodes with great force. The bloody Harley manages to snap back into reality to see what has happened.

"NOOOOOOO!" Harley screams at the top of her lungs, "NOOOOO! MISTAH J! NOOOOO!"

"AAAAHH, HA, HA, HEEE, HOO, HA, HAAAAA!" Joker laughs. The men let go of Harley and let her fall to the ground, sobbing. The other men push Ivy to the ground with her. Ivy quickly takes Harley into her arms.

"I'm sorry, Harley." Ivy whispers into Harley's ear.

"This is just the beginning." Joker says to himself, as he watched the roaring fire consume the remains of the building.

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**Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please Review. Thanks.**


	4. Chapter 4

**The next chapter of The Very Last Laugh. Sorry it took so long.**

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A group of men burst into a bank, carrying gun. All of the people in the bank screamed. Just then, the Joker (Cesar Romero) skips into the bank.

"Alright, everybody, this is a stick up, Aha, ha, ha!" Joker says, "Now, I don't want any of you trying anything funny! That's my job, Aha, ha, ha, ha, haaaa! Now, boys, let's hurry up and get the money. We don't want our dear bat friend to show up." He skips over to the counter, where a women in a purple dress was behind. The woman's back was turned to the Joker, as if she wasn't even aware of the men's presence All the Joker could see was that she had short red hair, and looked quite taller than most woman. "Excuse me, miss, but could you please fill up this bag with the loot?" Joker questions, holding out an open bag. The woman doesn't answer him. The Joker is a little confused by this. "Miss, this is a robbery." he informs, "You're suppose to do everything I say." The woman once again doesn't answer him. "Do I have to come back there and get it myself?" Joker yells, getting a little angry. All of a sudden, the woman turns around and points a gun at the Joker. The Joker takes a few steps back in shock. He could now see that the woman wasn't a woman at all. It was a man with flaking, white face paint, black liner around his eyes, and a smeared, red smile over his lips and scarred cheeks. The man is clearly revealed to be the Joker (Heath Ledger). Joker(HL) removes the wig from his head, revealing long, messy, greasy, blond hair, which was poorly dye green.

"Hi." Joker(HL) says, licking his lips, then smiling. His smile reveals stained yellow teeth.

"My goodness, man, you look awful!" Joker (CR) comments, "And why are you in a dress?"

"Because it brings out my eyes." Joker answers. He looks over at Joker's(CR) men, then cocks his gun. "Put down the guns." he orders. The men do as he says.

"Who are you?" Joker(CR) questions.

"A better question would be... who are you?" Joker(HL) replies.

"Me?" Joker(CR) questions, a little surprised, "I'm the famous Gotham crime clown himself. I'm the Joker. Who hasn't heard of me?"

"Well... I think you're sadly mistaken." Joker(HL) says, "Because that name is my trabemark. And you know why?"

"No, I do not know." Joker(CR) answers.

"Because I'm not afraid to do this." Joker(HL) states. He points the gun and fires at each of Joker's(CR) men, killing them all. The Joker(CR) looks at him in utter shock. Joker(HL) then points the gun back at his other. "Heh, heh, heh, hah, hah, hah, ha!" he laughs.

"Are you insane?" Joker(CR) questions, "They'll throw you in prison for the rest of your life!"

"You see, that's the difference between you and me." Joker says, showing no emotion towards his own action, "You're too much of a coward to take another man's life. Have you ever seen a dead body?"

"Well, of course I have." Joker(CR) replies.

"I don't mean like a person that's already dead." Joker(HL) says, "I mean when that last spark of life drains from a living human. That second that they take their last breath. And then... nothing. Have you ever seen that?"

"Well... no." Joker(CR) replies. Joker(HL) licks his lips.

"Well, then you're just a joke of what it truly means to have such a name." Joker(HL) states, "The last impersonator I came across at least had a little class. First degree murder popped out quite a few times. But you... you're just a washed up clown that turned to the life of crime."

"Washed up clown?" Joker(CR) growls, "I'm anything but washed up! And for your information, I've tried to kill people before."

"I'm aware of that." Joker(HL) replies, "But it never happened. You've set up some many traps for the Bat and his little friends. You've known that they'd get out of your little traps. You've always had these little plans, and they've never worked." Joker(HL) starts to move slowly out from behind the counter, not lowering the gun for a second. "You see, I don't have a plan." he continues, "I just do things."

"That's just foolish!" Joker(CR) states, "You always have to have a plan before you do something!" Joker(HL) shakes his head.

"No, no, no, that's not how things should be done." Joker(HL) states, "Let's say... I wanna kill the mayor of Gotham. I just do it. I don't just sit back and come up with a plan and try to go along with it. That's why people fail. They come up with these plans, and they try to stick to them. That's called Order. And I'm not too much of a fan of that. I like a little chaos in my daily life. With me, you can never predict what will come next." Joker(HL) looks at a watch that was on his hand. "I'd better hurry this up." he says, "Boys!" A groups of armed, masked men rise up from behind the counter. "Take these good people to the back." Joker(HL) orders, "This is a private show." The man pushes the hostages into another room, leaving the two Jokers alone.

"Can't we just talk this thing over?" Joker(CR) questions, "I mean, even if you wanted to do something, Batman's most likely on his way. And... and if we work together, we can finally get rid of him. Think of it! No one could stop our combined powers."

"You know, the last impersonator thought the same thing." Joker (HL) informs, "And now, he's nothing more than a pile of ash, Hee, hee, ha, haaa!" Joker(CR) takes a huge gulp. "Oh, and about our little bat problem, he's not gonna show up for a little while." Joker(HL) continues, "You see, I have a few of my men holding up a few hostages at a warehouse down by the docks. And Batman's will be over there, trying to convince them to surrender. And I have them scheduled to surrender at 3:30 pm on the spot. But here's the best part of it all. The warehouse won't even be there at 3:30 pm. Because... at 3:15 pm, that warehouse will be nothing but a blazing inferno, HA, HA, HAAAA, HA, HOO, HEE, HEE, HA, HA!" He looks at his watch again. "That means that we have about... six more minutes until Gotham sees the firework show. It's just so sad that we're not gonna be able to see it."

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**Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Things are about to pick up in the next one. Please Review. Thanks.**


	5. Chapter 5

**The next chapter of The Very Last Laugh.**

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The two Joker look at each other, eye to eye. Joker(CR) looked very nervous, where Joker(HL) looked calm and collected. Joker(HL) starts to study the gun in his hand.

"You what I hate about guns?" Joker(HL) questions.

"What?" Joker(CR) replies.

"They're too quick." Joker explains, "I like to take things a little slow, and enjoy the finer things in live. That's why I use a knife. And that ever lasting thrill that I get whenever I watch a person bleed to death. And the looks on their faces, they just make me wanna smile." Joker(CR) is in total disbelief about what he is hearing. Joker(HL) then points the gun back at Joker(CR), then strolls over to each of the guns that were on the floor, picking each of them up. He then makes his way to a trash can. "Don't want anyone to shoot their eye out, do we?" he says. He then flings them into the can, only to set off one of the guns in the process. The bullet launches by Joker's(HL) head. Both Jokers look in shock at the trash can. "Well... someone forgot to put their safety on." Joker(HL) states. He then tosses his own gun into the can, then pulls out a knife. "If we're going to do this... which we are, then we're going to do this right." he informs, then pulls out another knife, "Let's see how you can handle a knife. And hey, I'll even let you use my favorite." He then tosses Joker(CR) the knife, who proceeds to drop it. He quickly picks it up, looking very nervous. Joker(HL) looks at his own reflection in the knife, then starts to brush his hair with his hand.

"Do we truly have to sink as low as to have a knife fight?" Joker(CR) questions, gripping the knife tightly in his hand, "What happened to good old fashion brawling? You know, hand to hand."

"Come on!" Joker(HL) replies, "Show that you have some balls! Prove to me that you're a Joker." He then starts to move closer to Joker(CR), holding the knife down to his side. Joker(CR) tries to move a little bit away from him. Just then, Joker(HL) jabs his knife in Joker(CR) direction, but he avoids it. "You see, now it would be self-defense." Joker(HL) informs, then tries to stab him again, but Joker(CR) moves again. Joker(CR) stumbles backwards, almost tripping on his own feet. Joker(HL) continues to stab at him. He finally manages to stab Joker(CR) in the arm.

"AAAHHH!" Joker(CR) screams. Joker(HL) pulls the knife out, then tries to stab him again. Joker(CR) dodges the knife, then stabs at Joker(HL), who avoids. Joker(CR) was shocked at what he had tried to do.

"There we go!" Joker(HL) says. He then tries to stab Joker(CR) again, but he moves out of the way and slices a gash into Joker's(HL) arm. "Now you're getting the hang out it." Joker(HL) states, then kicks Joker(CR) away from him. He then takes a look at his gash, then smiles. Joker(CR) slowly moves closer to him, keeping his guard up.

"Please, we shouldn't be doing this!" Joker(CR) begs, "Let's just put this whole thing behind us. I'm sure that neither one of us wants to lose their life." Joker(HL) cocks his to the side, giving a questionable look.

"Are you begging?" Joker(HL) questions. Joker(CR) is silent for a moment, then gives a nervous smile.

"I'm sure that you can be a reasonable person." Joker(CR) replies, "Let's put this foolishness behind us. What do ya say?" Joker(HL) just stares at him, now silent.

"You know... I really hate that." Joker(HL) says, "It's not simply begging that I hate. No, no, in fact, I love when people beg for their lives. But... when I find someone who is calmed to be one of most feared beings in an entire city, and they start to beg for their lives, that just makes me mad. It disappoints me. You see, I like to force them to beg, not for them just to give in so easily. I like to work for that little satisfaction. And you, the so called 'Crime Clown', who is suppose to be some big time criminal, are now ready to give up after a little flesh wound."

"Look, I can give you anything!" Joker(CR) informs, "Money, power, woman, any thing you wish."

"What I want is to end your pathetic excuse for a live." Joker(HL) replies, then works the knife around in his hand, "And I know I'll get that from you." Joker(CR) takes notice of the blood that was leaking from his wounded arm. He then turns to see Joker(HL) coming towards him again with the knife. Joker(CR) tries to defend himself with the knife, but Joker(HL) smacks it out of his hand. He then grabs Joker(CR) by his coat and hold the knife in his hand to his mouth. Joker(CR) was horified of his current position. Joker(HL) licks his scarred lips. "You wanna know how I got these scars?" he questions. Joker(CR) was to afraid to answer. But something comes to his mind. "You see, my father..." Joker(HL) tries to explain.

"Hold that thought." Joker(CR) says, "Before you tell me of your tale, perhaps you would like to wet your whistle?" He then takes hold of the flower on his coat and squeezes it, spraying water in Joker's(HL) face. He then knocks the knife out of Joker's(HL) hand, then punches him. Joker(HL) stumbles back, only to receive another punch. "HOO, HO, Ha, HA, HOOO, HAAA!" Joker(CR) laughs, then kicks Joker(HL) in the stomach. Just then, Joker(HL) punches him in the face, then knees him between the legs. "AAAAHHH!" Joker(CR) cries, "That was dirty!" Joker(HL) punches him again, then grabs him by the neck and pushes him to a wall. He then punches him some more and starts choking him. Joker(CR) manages to poke him in the eyes, then punches him again. He throws another punch, but Joker(HL) dodges it and punches Joker(CR). Joker(CR) hears a click noise, then looks down to find a shocking sight. A blade was sticking out of Joker's(HL) right shoe. Joker(HL) then tries to kick him, but Joker(CR) moves out of the way. He tries to kick him again, this time managing to stab into Joker's(CR) thigh. "AAAAHHH!" Joker cries out in pain.

"HA, HA, HO, HEEE, HA, HAAA!" Joker(HL) laughs, then tries to kick him again. Joker(CR) manages to avoid it, then punches him in the face. Joker(HL) stumbles back, then tries to punch Joker(CR), who manages to dodge again. Joker(HL) smiles, showing some bloody teeth. "You're a lot funnier than I thought you would be." he informs.

"Come, know, fight like a real man!" Joker(CR) says, "Put away you little knives, prove to be who you say you are!" Joker(HL) thinks for a moment, then nods.

"Fine." Joker(HL) replies, then raises his right foot up and removes the blade from the shoe. He throws it to the side, then nears Joker(CR).

"May the best Joker win." Joker(CR) says, extending his hand to Joker(HL). Joker(HL) studies it for a moment, then shakes it. All of a sudden, a powerful wave of electricity surges through Joker's(HL). "HAAAAA, HA, HA, HOOOO, HA, HA, HA, HEEE, HA, HOOO!" Joker(CR) laughs. He soon releases his grip on Joker's(HL) hand, who then falls to the ground. He then holds up his hand, revealing an extra strength joy buzzer. "You fell for the oldest trick in the book!" he states. Joker(HL) gasps for air while he's on the ground. his body was a little numb, and some jolts still surgied. "Now I have the upper hand." Joker(CR) says, then runs over to the trash can Joker(HL) threw the guns in. Joker(HL) sees one of his knives on the floor and crawls over to it. Joker(CR) grabs Joker's(HL) handgun. Joker(HL) stands to his feet with the knife in his hand, then turns to see Joker(CR) pointing his gun at him. "Now, to finally dispose of you." Joker says, cocking the gun, "And like you said, it's in self-defense. But the good thing is that you'll be the first person that I've ever killed, HA, HA, HAAAA, HOO!" Joker(HL) smiles at this.

"Come on, I want you to do it." Joker(HL) replies, "Prove that you've actually got a pair. Come on, do it!" Joker(CR) wastes not time pulling the trigger.

***Click***

Joker's(CR) eyes widen in shock. Joker(HL) continues to smile, then charges at Joker(CR), tackling him to the wall. He then stabs him in the stomach.

"AAAAHHH!" Joker screams, "PLEASE, MERCY!" He then slides down to the floor, clutching his stab wound. He looks up to see Joker(HL) smiling even more.

"Why so serious?" Joker(HL) questions. He then stabs Joker(CR) over and over in the chest. Soon, Joker(CR) was no longer breathing. Joker(HL) blushes his hair back with his bloodly hand, then licks his lip. One of Joker's(HL) men comes out from the back.

"Hey, boss, are you finished here?" the man questions.

"Yeah, just start raiding the volt." Joker(HL) answers. The man rushes back into the back. Joker(HL) looks down one last time at the body of Joker(CR). He then looks at his watch. "Darn, missed the fireworks." he mumbles, then heads for the door of the bank. Once outside, he pulls a remote from the pocket of his dress. He starts to whistle as he stolls over to a van parked in front of the bank. He then turns around and presses a button on the remote. All of a sudden, the bank bursts into flames. "At least I got to have one to my self." Joker(HL) states, then gets into the van, "HAAAAAA, HA, HA, HA, HAAAAAA, HOOOO,. HEEE, HA, HEEE, HAAA!" He then drives away.

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**Hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'm sorry that it took so long, but it's harder than you would think to write a fight scene for Cesar Romero and Heath Ledger. Anyway, hope you continue to read. Please Review. Thanks.**


	6. Chapter 6

**The next chapter of The Very Last Laugh.**

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A group of men stood around in a fancy Italian restaurant called 'Cucina del cielo'. They were armed and stood around each exit. On the floor were people with huge grins on their faces, laying completely motionless. At one table sat a man in a purple suit, orange dress shirt, blue vest, and a green bowtie. He had pure white skin, green hair, and a big, red, permanent smile on his face. It was soon clear that this man was the Joker **(Jack Nicholson)**. He brings a fork full of Lasagna to his mouth and takes a bite. He chews on it for a bit, then gives a confused face.

"Bob, there's a little issue with my lasagna." Joker informs, "I need to see the chef responsible for making it." Bob nods, then goes back into the kitchen. A few minutes later, he comes back out, dragging a frightened chef behind him.

"Padre nostro che sei nei cieli, sia santificato il tuo nome!" the chef prays in Italian, "Venga il tuo regno. La tua volontà sia fatta sulla terra come in cielo. Dacci oggi il nostro pane quotidiano..."

"SHUT UP!" Bob yells, pistol whipping the chef, then drags him in front of the Joker's table.

"So, you're the guy who prepared my meal?" Joker questions. The chef nods, extremely nervous. "Well, chief, there's a bit of a problem with my lasagna." Joker informs, "Ya see, I asked for a little more ricotta, and I can barely taste any."

"Signore, I put lots of ricotta in it, just for you!" the chef states.

"Then let me ask you this." Joker replies, "You ever danced with the Devil in the Pale Moon light?"

"What?" the chef replies, confused.

"That's just something I like to ask all of my victims." Joker explains, "I just like the sound of it." Out of nowhere, Joker pulls out a gun and shoots the chef, killing him. "Now, back to my dinner." Joker says, putting the gun away. He takes another bite out of his lasagna, then gives a questionable look. "On second thought, he did give me enough ricotta." he states, "Oh well. Heh, hee, ha, ha, haaa!"

"Hey, boss, your guest is here!" one of the men informs. A figure strolls in, and slowly makes his way towards Joker's table. He looks down at the bodies that laid on the floor, not seeming to care. As he steps closer into the light, the figure is soon revealed to be the Joker **(Heath Ledger)**.

"Sorry I'm late." Joker(HL) says, as he straightens his tie, "Ran into a little... traffic."

"Well, I'm glad you're here." Joker(JN) replies, sounding happy, "I was beginning to think you wouldn't show up." Joker(HL) giggles a little as he takes a seat.

"Oh, I wouldn't miss this for the world." Joker(HL) states. Both Jokers look each other in the eye, both grinning.

"Well, now that you're here, would you like something to eat?" Joker(JN) questions, "I hear they make a nice ravioli."

"No thanks." Joker(HL) answers, "I've had my fill for the day." Joker(JN) shrugs.

"Oh well." Joker says, then takes another bite of his lasagna. Both study each other closely, both sensing a little similarity between each other. "So, let's get down to business." Joker(JN) says, pushing his plate to the side, "From what I've heard, you believe that you're the true 'Clown Prince of Crime' around here. You even named yourself after me."

"That... is debatable." Joker(HL) replies, brushing some of his hair to the side.

"Hah, hah, you might be right!" Joker(JN) informs, "But let me tell you this right now, junior, I've made the name of the Joker a legacy that can't be denied. There will never be a greater Joker than me! But you know, I give you credit, you did a hell of a job taking out those other copycats. I'm actually impressed. I mean, blowing one to bits and stabbing the other to death was just priceless to me! And you have no shame whatsoever! Dressing like a woman in order to fool the last copycat was just insane!" Joker(HL) just shugs.

"I just let chaos decide what I do next." Joker(HL) states, "Plus... it made me feel pretty."

"Yeah, and the whole chaotic outline of your routine is interesting." Joker(JN) says, "I kind of like it. But you're doing it all wrong. Ya gotta make the people laugh a little. You see, I experimented with a chemical I call 'Smilex' and added it to all the cosmetics in Gotham. You see, once applied, the chemicals enter the body and cause the victim to break out into a laughing fit by attacking their nervous system. Soon after, they drop dead, with huge grins on their faces. It's just so funny! Ha, haaa, ha!"

"Yeah, that's pretty clever!" Joker replies, chuckling a little, "But you see, I don't really like that. I mean, I like to make people smile... but I like to do it a different way. You see... I use a knife. It reminds me of how I learned to smile. And it gives me an even greater thrill to watch them bleed out. Guns... a means for surviving or for a quick kill. But knives... you're on for the whole ride. You're there for each moment, each scream, each drop of blood that spills." Joker(JN) nods.

"You know, in ways, we're the same." Joker(JN) states, "Permanent smiles. A few screws loose in the head. We both love purple and green! Ha, ha, haaa!" Joker(HL) smiles, straightening his jacket. "I bet the Bat made you who you are too, didn't he?" Joker(JN) questions. Joker(HL) is silent, then shakes his head.

"You wanna know how I got these scars?" Joker(HL) replies.

"Not really, no." Joker(JN) answers, grinning. Joker(HL) makes a pouting face.

"Oh, now you've ruined my fun." Joker(HL) says, giggle.

"Sorry, just not that interested in lies." Joker(JN) informs, "You have a different story for everyone you meet. My father did. I did it for my wife. Daughter would cut herself. It's all... boring." Joker(HL) stares at him in silence.

"You know, at some point, I've actually told the truth." Joker(HL) replies, "I just throw the others in there to make it more chaotic." Joker(JN) leans back in his chair and props his feet up on the table.

"I think that's enough bullshitting." Joker(JN) says, "We're both here for a reason."

"Aren't we all?" Joker(HL) questions.

"We both feel that there can only be one Joker." Joker(JN) informs, "So, why don't we both just get it over with." All of a sudden, Joker(HL) pulls out a revolver and points it at him. Joker(JN) is still for a moment, then makes a clicking sound with his mouth and turns his head to some of his men.

"Didn't any of you think about searching him before ya let him in?" Joker(JN) questions.

"Oh, they tried." Joker(HL) says, "And now one of them is now missing a thumb." Joker(JN) giggles a bit.

"I think I like you." Joker(JN) replies, "It's a damn shame that I'm gonna have to kill you."

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**Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry that it took me so long to get around to it, but things have come up. Some writer's block. But I'll try to update again as soon as possible. What will happen next? Please Review. Thanks.**


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